Tag Archives: truck

Surviving Women’s Imaginary Things


bird flu1A fellow (not male) blogger took a light-hearted approach to her surviving her husband’s “man flu“.  Us guys took it on our bearded chins from the ladies.

Lies.  All lies, I say!

Blasphemy that us men would whimper and keel over from the invasion of tiny buggers we can’t even see with a microscope.

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Well, guys, its our turn.  We must defend our manliness.  Light-heartedly, of course.

The other night, I survived another commute home with against hordes of women drivers.

Barely survived.

Actually, it was a wonder I made it home unscathed and not get hit by the invisible things only women drivers can see.

They are gifted.

Us men can only see real things.

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It is not easy “sharing” the road with women drivers when they have a different perceptions of “lanes”, “sharing”…and things only THEY can see.  Invisible things that apparently take up a LOT of space.  Thank goodness they can see them or I would run into these invisible things.

And women’s maligned beliefs they had to suffer the consequences of the man-flu…  Dastardly.  If anything, a man-flu lasts but a week.

Commuting with against females and their invisible things (only visible to them) is five days a week, 50 weeks a year for us hard-working men.

And I thought about the man-flu smack down when I came to this (long) stop light.

I got my trusty new smartphone and managed to snap a picture for evidence (unlike the man-flu blog which had NO evidence)… but of course, none of the HUGE  invisible things only WOMEN can see showed up in the picture.

Invisible Car

(Trust me.  The two vehicles in front of me have female drivers.)

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Here is a schematic of the picture.  By some miracle, it is as UN-females see it:

A schematic of the photograph - which for some reason coincides with a man's view.
A schematic of the photograph – which for some reason coincides with a man’s view.

Notice where in the lane the female driver of the world’s tiniest car has decided to stop at this intersection.  There was obviously a couple of those invisible things that only WOMEN can see…on both sides of her.  If you can catch the Man Flu, you probably can’t see these invisible things.  She is so blessed, isn’t she?

(This was during rush hour.  At a long signal.  With other drivers behind us.  Forming two distinct lines…except for the two cars in front of me.)

Also trust me when I say the perspective of this photo hastily snapped with my smartphone is as deceiving as is the ladies’ perception of the effects of the man-flu.  There is LOTS of space on either side of car #1.

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Which brings us to the second car immediately in front of me.  There is enough space between car #1 and this one that the front offensive line for the Ravens could do their stretching exercises.

Well, she also stopped her car skewed to the right of center…  You can see the reflection of my curbside headlamp on her LEFT tail lamp.  Imagine that.

…and she is not trying to make a right turn…  Here, at least.

She made the turn at the NEXT stop light beyond the freeway overpass.

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Well, gents, a lady friend viewed the photograph at my humble request…  and with her special vision, she pointed out the invisible things to me.  How blessed are women!

THIS is what they can see with their magic vision!

THIS is what women drivers can see with their gift of paranormal eyesight!
THIS is what women drivers can see with their gift of paranormal eyesight!
OK, guys…  How many of you want this special vision that only women possess??!
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