An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.
The Italian said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream nonstop for five minutes.”
The Frenchman said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight.”
The Aussie said: “That’s nothing! Last night I massaged me wife, y’know, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter and then made love. I made her scream for two long hours.”
The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, “Two full hours? Wow! That’s phenomenal. How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?”
The Aussie replied, “I wiped my hands on the curtains.”
Many of my posts are about cowboy stuff. They seem more popular than what I write about legal topics. What a surprise!
So, I am warning you fans of ranch life that this ain’t about our horses or dogs or wildfires or brandings or buffalo or deer or antelope. This is about lying.
Contrary to what seems to be the public perception of lawyers, lawyers need to be even more careful about lying than the general public. Lawyers are members of a licensed and regulated profession. Also, that particular profession is charged with pursuing justice. I tell my clients that their credibility and my credibility are crucial to their cases. We are stuck with the facts, but how we are perceived by the jury, judge and opposing counsel are how cases are won or lost.
I tell my clients about a particular Colorado jury instruction which is read to every…
A few of you know I’ve been in a little bit of “funk” the past month or so…
No real reason… just things.
But I had a GREAT Father’s Day! So a belated and short post.
It started out with seeing my “second” dad – Old Man Jack. I last visited Jack on Memorial Day… but it was a bit saddening to see that his only daughter hadn’t been by.
It’s always good to see him – although I didn’t stop by in my LOUD supercharged Mustang he loved so much.
Of course, you can only have one dad… and mine’s 94. We had a Father’s Day Brunch at his assisted living center and his luckily, his appetite was back. We enjoyed a special Father’s Day brunch. Meat and potatoes! His fave!
He then finished off his lunch with…sweets! Man, he’s got a sweet tooth! These were Japanese candies sent to him from my cousin Masako (and Izumi) in Hiroshima. (He had four. lol)
Does he look content? LOL
And someone “special” had called… and wanted to give me a Father’s Day hug! Ou-la-la! She is a gal with one of the sweetest souls around…and she shall remain nameless. 🙂
She’s had a positive impact on me. 🙂
And then… the grand finale…
I headed up from Fashion Island in Newport Beach to Pomona…My oldest son, Takeshi……graduated from Cal Poly Pomona! He’s even got a straight A streak going! And he BEAT his brilliant sister in Organic Chemistry by getting an A! She will never hear the end of that one… 🙂
Congratulations, son! And a BIG thanks to my ex and his step-dad. I couldn’t ask for a better guy.
I don’t think an old man can ask for anything greater than that superific day!
Today’s BlogHer prompt for National Blog Posting Month is:
Tuesday, June 11, 2013 How much does your culture come into play in your day-to-day life?
When I see the word culture, I first think of the Japanese side of my family. That’s not to say my dad’s side of my family “ain’t got no culture,” but the culture of the English, Irish and Scottish mix on my dad’s side seems to have blended into what we consider to be American influence and it’s harder to pick out.
The first thing I thought of when I read the prompt was what I wrote about in my post yesterday — losing face. So again, you can imagine my jaw dropping when, upon researching the origin of “losing face,” I found it was Chinese.
I should ask my Japanese cousins if the threat of losing face was as much a part of…
A wonderful story on the role of the secret Japanese-American US Army soldiers who formed the “Military Intelligence Service” and of their possible influence on the father’s safe return from brutal war…
Smitty held the Nisei in very high regard and I would be remiss in neglecting to tell their story. Beside, one of these men might have been directly responsible for the safe return of my father. In reality, it would be near impossible to relate a story of the Pacific War without mentioning their service. Some of this unique intelligence force worked ‘behind the scene’ stateside U.S.A. or Australia, but many were up front and fighting at and behind enemy lines. Smitty always had extreme appreciation for the courage, resilience and down-right crazy stunts they pulled off. They were capable of going behind the lines to acquire information or cut into the radio lines and all the while they remained quite aware that their own units might mistake them for the enemy when they returned. This did happen more than once.
[Please also see “Mr. Johnson, USMC” if you wish to learn the background of this couple from the Greatest Generation by clicking on the link.]
Well, Marge, you made it indeed… To see your beloved husband Johnnie for Memorial Day.
A heroic US Marine who fought on-board the USS Enterprise in World War II.
And he was but 17 years old when he set sail for the Battle of Midway.
Seventeen. You said he was still in high school when he signed up for the Marines. Unbelievable.
We were met by thousands of American flags being planted by hundreds of Boy Scouts and volunteers. You were so happy to see the red, white and blue saturating the cemetery, bit by bit.
While the Boy Scouts hadn’t made it yet to your husband’s resting place yet, we had our own little flag… and your beautiful bouquet we were able to pick up along the way. You were so pleased with them but we made it a promise the next bouquet will be the colors of the USMC – scarlett and gold. You knew he would like that. Yes you did.
It was only the Saturday before Memorial Day but you were so elated to see how many people were there already…and we arrived at 10:00 AM! You were worried we wouldn’t be able to find a place to park when someone upstairs opened one up for us.
You were so anxious to visit him that you made it out of my car in record time and walked as quickly as you could!
While you used your stroller to get to the general area of his grave site, we had to leave the stroller and walk the last twenty yards on very saturated ground. You were holding onto my arm so tightly as the muddy earth gave way as we walked. Remember? My shoe sunk into the soil and inch or more.
And when we got there, we couldn’t find any water decanters… They were all being used by the hundreds of other mourners…but by some lucky grace, we ran into Vicky… She had bought 1,000 beautiful flags on her own and her niece was placing them neatly all along the columbine. She went out of her way to find one for you!
Your bouquet was so beautiful, Marge. You said quietly Johnnie – your husband of 66-1/2 years – would like them so much. You miss him dearly, don’t you Marge? I miss him…
And like the last time, on Easter Sunday, you talked with him…
You shared with me again of how he left your life…and you were there for him til the very end… and how alone you felt because you are the last one alive from amongst your friends. There is no one else. You said you still look for Johnnie at your assisted senior care center to ask him a question but he doesn’t answer…
We promised to go back in two months, yes?
I will be calling you because he means so much to you… and it means so much to me.
I wish people would understand your love and devotion.
With love and admiration,
Short Stories about World War II. One war. Two Countries. One Family