In response to Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge of this week: SHINE
A fellow (not male) blogger took a light-hearted approach to her surviving her husband’s “man flu“. Us guys took it on our bearded chins from the ladies.
Lies. All lies, I say!
Blasphemy that us men would whimper and keel over from the invasion of tiny buggers we can’t even see with a microscope.
Well, guys, its our turn. We must defend our manliness. Light-heartedly, of course.
The other night, I survived another commute home
with against hordes of women drivers.
Actually, it was a wonder I made it home unscathed and not get hit by the invisible things only women drivers can see.
They are gifted.
Us men can only see real things.
It is not easy “sharing” the road with women drivers when they have a different perceptions of “lanes”, “sharing”…and things only THEY can see. Invisible things that apparently take up a LOT of space. Thank goodness they can see them or I would run into these invisible things.
And women’s maligned beliefs they had to suffer the consequences of the man-flu… Dastardly. If anything, a man-flu lasts but a week.
with against females and their invisible things (only visible to them) is five days a week, 50 weeks a year for us hard-working men.
And I thought about the man-flu smack down when I came to this (long) stop light.
I got my trusty new smartphone and managed to snap a picture for evidence (unlike the man-flu blog which had NO evidence)… but of course, none of the HUGE invisible things only WOMEN can see showed up in the picture.
(Trust me. The two vehicles in front of me have female drivers.)
Here is a schematic of the picture. By some miracle, it is as UN-females see it:
Notice where in the lane the female driver of the world’s tiniest car has decided to stop at this intersection. There was obviously a couple of those invisible things that only WOMEN can see…on both sides of her. If you can catch the Man Flu, you probably can’t see these invisible things. She is so blessed, isn’t she?
(This was during rush hour. At a long signal. With other drivers behind us. Forming two distinct lines…except for the two cars in front of me.)
Also trust me when I say the perspective of this photo hastily snapped with my smartphone is as deceiving as is the ladies’ perception of the effects of the man-flu. There is LOTS of space on either side of car #1.
Which brings us to the second car immediately in front of me. There is enough space between car #1 and this one that the front offensive line for the Ravens could do their stretching exercises.
Well, she also stopped her car skewed to the right of center… You can see the reflection of my curbside headlamp on her LEFT tail lamp. Imagine that.
…and she is not trying to make a right turn… Here, at least.
She made the turn at the NEXT stop light beyond the freeway overpass.
Well, gents, a lady friend viewed the photograph at my humble request… and with her special vision, she pointed out the invisible things to me. How blessed are women!
THIS is what they can see with their magic vision!
Car dealers and banks.
They are very much similar.
A car dealer will “rip you off” every time you visit them…or they rip off the OEM when they repair a supposed “warranty” item WITH your car. Lots of stories there on how they rip everyone off.
Yesterday, I received a bonus that was automatically deposited into my account – which is linked to online banking.
Simple. Hasn’t failed yet.
But then, I saw a “NSF” charge for $35.
Don’t get me wrong. I orchestrate my funds flow – in detail – as I am not rich.
To save even on a day’s interest charge (since my EARNINGS are taxed so much more now), I also schedule payments to “arrive” at the payee’s on the same day as my deposit.
That’s what B of A promises. Headache free on-line banking. I’m sure they make bazillions of dollar on float alone at the same time.
But yesterday… Well actually, on January 30th, B of A “paid” a large check one day earlier than what I scheduled. Not on the 31st as I scheduled per their “headache free online banking service”.
They paid it one whole day early.
Not “technically” as my bonus hit the bank a minute past midnight. It bounced. On the 30th.
Bank of America PROMPTLY charged me 35 stinking dollars.
I won’t expand on how much time I spent on THREE phone calls to get them to fix their error. But they apologized. Really.
But TODAY…. February 1st… Their online banking system has been DOWN since about 7:30 AM. It is now past 3:00 PM here.
Funny, isn’t it?
We can’t charge THEM $35 for not being able to access our money at ALL.
Oh. I’m sorry…
They are telling us to visit one of their convenient ATM’s… but would somebody tell them their ATM’s can’t pay my gas bill?
That’s the name of an old man.
An old and round Asian man.
Only Nuckin’ Futs would drive an orange car…with a wing in the back.
Windows in the “you-have-the-right-to-pull-me-over” tint.
In the land of the California Highway Patrol. LAPD. LACS.
They love Nuckin’ Futs…a lot.
Why is that?
Polished Roushcharger with polished 2.57″ Carmen pulley; 505 HP VMP tune
Roush Cold Air Intake
PVD Black Chrome Moroso tanks and valve covers
Car stops on a yen. Wilwood six-pistons with 14″ slotted and cross-drilled rotors and “Red Stuff” pads with fat Yokohama S.drives
Nuckin’ Futs gets to sit on full six-way power and HEATED leather seats…as does Nuckin’ Futs’ little girl on the way to school…
…while looking at Jack Roush’s signature in front of her.
Before the before the “Before the Boo Boo” Now look. You got it, yes?
Before the “Before the Boo Boo” Now look. Nuckin’ Futs behind the wheel. Only four of these body kits were in the US; the other three were on show cars.
Before the Now look
The Now Look
Just for fun – anyone see “Cars”? See ya.
A summary of the larger mods for gear heads
In an earlier blog, I praised Old Man Jack for his forgiveness. It is not possible to write about what he did or saw out on the god-forsaken islands in the Pacific during World War II. Only he truly knew what was in his soul.
But in spite of his exposure to combat in that very personal and bitter war, Jack’s practice of forgiveness was his most important contribution to the healing of this world. The world we enjoy today. I truly believe that.
Old man Jack loved my kids – perhaps his warmth and the forgiveness in his heart will shine through.