A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart store.
She asks with the sweetest little lisp between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me, mithter. Where do you keep the widdle wabbits?”
As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice:
The short-lived Pony Express of lore… We need you. I think.
In 1860, a number of riders apparently rode on horseback at full gallop from roughly St. Louis to Sacramento over a number of days. They would ride from station to station where they would switch to fresh horses. These stations were anywhere from five to 25 miles apart given the terrain. A rider would ride for about 75 miles. Wild Bill Hickok was a rider in his youth – about 15 years old. He rode something like 320 miles in a little over 21 hours because the next rider had been killed. Imagine that…
Anyways, it was a rider on one horse. One horsepower, you can say.
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About a month ago, I mailed an envelope with two DVDs from Los Angeles to Ohio. Not much further in distance than the Pony Express route in actuality.
I mailed it on Monday.
It reached its destination eight days later on Tuesday the following week (because Monday was a holiday). It took a week, for argument’s sake.
Perhaps the mail truck didn’t see a parked car along the way.
Or maybe the driver wanted a “Pimp-my-Ride” look and stopped off somewhere along the way to get it done?
Or maybe instead of one horsepower, it was one boy-power. Ignore the air mail signage. It’s fake.
In today’s time of man-made hearts and boson particles, I feel there canNOT be an excuse for such lackadaisical service. (Did you hear that Hermione’s invisibility cloak can be a reality?)
And the US Postal Service wonders why they are going out of business… as did the Pony Express after about a year. They lost $200,000 on about $90,000 in revenues.
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Well, you say, “Give the Postal Service a break. It was only one piece of mail.”
I knew you’d say that.
On February 26th, I sent via official “Priority Service International” a package to my cousin in Hiroshima. They alluded to “7 – 10 day service” in their ads.
This package had all the gizmos. Tracking number. Web tracking. Etc.
The status as of March 8th of my “Priority Service – International” package.
On March 8th, I checked the status as my cousin hadn’t emailed me to say she got the (surprise) package. Lo and behold, the last web entry was February 28th, that is was processed through the LAX sort facility…but that was it.
Fini. No more progress. Disappeared…like Obama during the Benghazi attack.
I had to call the US Postal Service as you are unable to inquire on an international priority package via email. Waited close to ten minutes.
She told me the package had left the United States, that it was in Japan, and that it can take “up to seven to ten days for it to be delivered”.
I said, “No, I believe it’s lost here stateside so can you please initiate a trace? Besides, its been 7 to 10 days.”
Her reply: “You can initiate a complaint (trace) after ten working days as it can take seven to ten days to get delivered.” Didn’t she just say that?
I said, “Well, I mailed it Monday two weeks ago and today’s Friday.”
She said, “Ten business days will be Monday, March 11.”
You can imagine the response when I asked for a refund.
Can you see steam or the egg frying on my head?
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Monday, March 11th. TEN working days since I mailed a Priority package to Japan – with the USPS assurance of delivery in “7 to 10 working days…” going through my head.
Had to call again. One “working day” later to place my complaint and initiate a trace.
This time, she asked me for details. “How much did you declare?”
“I don’t remember. Your clerk spent five minutes inputting tons of stuff and I filled out a form in triplicate. Shouldn’t it tell you on your screen?”
You can imagine the answer… No.
Had to hang up and look for the receipt from TEN DAYS AGO at home that I fortunately found.
Long story short, called again the next day (the 12th) and at the end, guess what she said? “It will take up to 21 days for Japan to research, find the package and reply.”
I said again – very nicely – the Japanese aren’t that sloppy. That the package was still HERE… in your SORT FACILITY at LAX.
She said (politely), “No, the information tells us it was shipped to Japan so its there.”
Double GRRRR….
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So they finally initiated a trace.
And guess what. The Postal Service was wrong. It was NOT in Japan.
I was wrong. It was not at the LAX sort facility.
Instead, the Postal Service found it… likely in the same post office I shipped it from as the package “re-arrived” at the LAX sort facility after the trace was initiated!
The Postal Service wonders why they are losing money.
The workers just don’t care.
Well, I’m making sure my future packages are arriving in Japan by using UPS or FedEx.
Picked up the wall portrait of my kids from Alan Miyatake of Toyo Miyatake Studios.This appears to be an artistic rendition of one of Alan’s photographs of Ms. Condoleezza Rice?The famous grandfather of Alan, Toyo Miyatake.
Went to visit dad… The workers there told me he’s not eating much as of late. He only had a small salad with a little bit of chicken for lunch. When I asked him if he was hungry, he said no but when I showed him one of his favorite Japanese treats, he went to town.
Number one.
There goes number two!
Number three down the hatch!
He’s happy now. 🙂 And he did finish the last ball.
Took him one of Alan’s 8×10’s…labeled. He’s 94 now.
My bud Brian drove down from Reno for St. Paddy’s Day weekend – no better excuse to share a stogie together!
Played around with my new Canon SX260 HS point and shoot camera. Never had one that I can remember but it was fun to shoot with.
Superior close up capability.
Hand held. Look at the detail… Not bad for a shaky ol’ fart?
I’m keeping an eye on all of you! Who’s got Visine?
Fish eye setting…
My neighbor’s new son, Gabriel. The father is USAF… I pray for his safe return always.
And finally, these were for me. Like father, like son! LOL
This is what my monitor showed at 9:00 AM this morning.
For CNN:
For Fox:
If you click on the images, you can see the topics each news media “deems” important.
How can they be so different?
How can CNN essentially ignore the tremendous budget issues confronting the United States while concentrating on the election of the head of the Catholic religion? (Just being factual here – Catholicism is but one religion in this world. Just citing fact.) Well, Michelle Obama got a line in “for being in the vogue”.
Just weeks ago, CNN was headlining day after day Obama’s attack on the “GOP” as he greatly exaggerated the negative effects of the sequester. They even followed Obama when he went campaigning to bash the GOP…instead of trying to run this country.
I thought news was to be objective…or at least consistently applied?
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I will WRITE it.
Our country’s WOES are the result of two dictatorships… A dictatorship being defined as they do as they please as no one can challenge them. A form of Hitler-ism…
One dictatorship is the damn LAWYERS. We are better off without them. We don’t need lawyers representing jerks who go into small businesses just looking for minor violations. Attorneys WON’T restrict themselves as they feel they are “protecting us”. Pffft.
The other dictatorship is the MEDIA. Reporters are using it to spout off their personal feelings or agendas…or of their management…who gets revenue rewards of various “types”.
Ever wonder what happens when Chatter Master influences your daily life…
Lots. Just lots.
It started with a surprise from the reliable Chatter Master… delivered by the (usually unreliable) postal service.
What was in it?
A magic mug…made by Irish leprechauns, no doubt. Mischievous little buggers, they are!
So what did this leprechaun-made magic mug do for us this morning?
A brew of dark, just ground French roast coffee magically filled my magic mug…brewed at the perfect temperature of 195F, of course. Thank goodness they didn’t brew up a green smoothie. Miracle of miracles!
And the mug summoned Spring.
And a little visitor joined us – laden with delicious spring pollen. Achoo!
It made me make homemade waffles for the rug rats…with real maple syrup.
And the magic Chatter Master mug summoned our good neighbor Jake! He ate three! And the great kid he is, he took his plate to the sink.
The magic mug also compelled my son to work on his science project! (Of course, there was a bribe involved…that only partially worked.)
See what happens during a Chatter Master inspired morning??
Wait… What’s this? The yard looks the same… What’s up with that?
A fellow (not male) blogger took a light-hearted approach to her surviving her husband’s “man flu“. Us guys took it on our bearded chins from the ladies.
Lies. All lies, I say!
Blasphemy that us men would whimper and keel over from the invasion of tiny buggers we can’t even see with a microscope.
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Well, guys, its our turn. We must defend our manliness. Light-heartedly, of course.
The other night, I survived another commute home with against hordes of women drivers.
Barely survived.
Actually, it was a wonder I made it home unscathed and not get hit by the invisible things only women drivers can see.
They are gifted.
Us men can only see real things.
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It is not easy “sharing” the road with women drivers when they have a different perceptions of “lanes”, “sharing”…and things only THEY can see. Invisible things that apparently take up a LOT of space. Thank goodness they can see them or I would run into these invisible things.
And women’s maligned beliefs they had to suffer the consequences of the man-flu… Dastardly. If anything, a man-flu lasts but a week.
Commuting with against females and their invisible things (only visible to them) is five days a week, 50 weeks a year for us hard-working men.
And I thought about the man-flu smack down when I came to this (long) stop light.
I got my trusty new smartphone and managed to snap a picture for evidence (unlike the man-flu blog which had NO evidence)… but of course, none of the HUGE invisible things only WOMEN can see showed up in the picture.
(Trust me. The two vehicles in front of me have female drivers.)
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Here is a schematic of the picture. By some miracle, it is as UN-females see it:
A schematic of the photograph – which for some reason coincides with a man’s view.
Notice where in the lane the female driver of the world’s tiniest car has decided to stop at this intersection. There was obviously a couple of those invisible things that only WOMEN can see…on both sides of her. If you can catch the Man Flu, you probably can’t see these invisible things. She is so blessed, isn’t she?
(This was during rush hour. At a long signal. With other drivers behind us. Forming two distinct lines…except for the two cars in front of me.)
Also trust me when I say the perspective of this photo hastily snapped with my smartphone is as deceiving as is the ladies’ perception of the effects of the man-flu. There is LOTS of space on either side of car #1.
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Which brings us to the second car immediately in front of me. There is enough space between car #1 and this one that the front offensive line for the Ravens could do their stretching exercises.
Well, she also stopped her car skewed to the right of center… You can see the reflection of my curbside headlamp on her LEFT tail lamp. Imagine that.
…and she is not trying to make a right turn… Here, at least.
She made the turn at the NEXT stop light beyond the freeway overpass.
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Well, gents, a lady friend viewed the photograph at my humble request… and with her special vision, she pointed out the invisible things to me. How blessed are women!
THIS is what they can see with their magic vision!
THIS is what women drivers can see with their gift of paranormal eyesight!
OK, guys… How many of you want this special vision that only women possess??!
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When I was a youngster, the kids on our Oakford Drive in East Los Angeles would play after-school and certainly after homework was done.
Playing was comprised of two general categories:
1. Sports – like baseball (complete with broken windows) or football (on our lawns spotted with metal sprinkler heads), or,
2. War
Needless to say, I was never a member of the US forces when we played war. (Oh, how I longed to be Sgt. Rock with his bulging biceps and Thompson machine gun blazing away…fighting for the red, white and blue.)
No, I was always the “J” or the “K”… You know what I mean.
To be killed over and over again.
Like with elaborate booby traps: a wooden clothes pin armed with a cap and taped onto a piece of wood. When I neared the booby trap (countless of times), Steve would pull the cord (countless of times) attached to a little string of metal from a spam can holding the clothes pin open..and “POP!” I would crumble to the ground. Very effective weapon if you ask me.
Or shot with John’s toy Winchester. Wait a minute. Winchesters were for cowboys and Indians. I wonder how that got into our (imaginary) war. Oh, well. We were just playing while building our love for country.
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After all, this was only a little more than 15 years after a most bitter war’s end.
Toyota wasn’t even in our vocabulary.
Sony became part of our vocabulary only because of something called a transistor radio.
The gist of it? I hope you will read it and develop your own.
But…
Is this a case of hysteria? Of being afraid of being sued by spotlight-loving lawyers… or CNN making you out to look a villain to support Obama’s political agenda? Just my opinion, of course.
Of what HARM was it? The toy grenade didn’t even have a paper cap… Wait a minute. Was there EVEN a toy grenade? Or maybe it was a fuzzy tennis ball in place of his imaginary grenade?
OMFG.
Don’t punish the kid’s imagination.
Geezus H. Christ.
Maybe he just wants to be Sgt. Rock and save our country.
A car dealer will “rip you off” every time you visit them…or they rip off the OEM when they repair a supposed “warranty” item WITH your car. Lots of stories there on how they rip everyone off.
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Yesterday, I received a bonus that was automatically deposited into my account – which is linked to online banking.
Simple. Hasn’t failed yet.
But then, I saw a “NSF” charge for $35.
THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS.
Don’t get me wrong. I orchestrate my funds flow – in detail – as I am not rich.
To save even on a day’s interest charge (since my EARNINGS are taxed so much more now), I also schedule payments to “arrive” at the payee’s on the same day as my deposit.
That’s what B of A promises. Headache free on-line banking. I’m sure they make bazillions of dollar on float alone at the same time.
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But yesterday… Well actually, on January 30th, B of A “paid” a large check one day earlier than what I scheduled. Not on the 31st as I scheduled per their “headache free online banking service”.
They paid it one whole day early.
It bounced.
Not “technically” as my bonus hit the bank a minute past midnight. It bounced. On the 30th.
Bank of America PROMPTLY charged me 35 stinking dollars.
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I won’t expand on how much time I spent on THREE phone calls to get them to fix their error. But they apologized. Really.
But TODAY…. February 1st… Their online banking system has been DOWN since about 7:30 AM. It is now past 3:00 PM here.
Funny, isn’t it?
We can’t charge THEM $35 for not being able to access our money at ALL.
Zilch. Nada.
Oh. I’m sorry…
They are telling us to visit one of their convenient ATM’s… but would somebody tell them their ATM’s can’t pay my gas bill?
(Copied from an email. I don’t know who wrote it but I randomly verified a few numbers.)
The state of America’s economy today will impact the prosperity of future generations tomorrow. We created this data card because we want every American to have a simple and easy way to track and discuss the key economic indicators that show the true state of our nation’s economy. The items featured in this card affect every American personally, whether we know it or not.
Join Allen West in standing up for the next generation by printing this data card and using it to start a conversation with your friends about America’s economy. The card will be updated monthly so you will have access to the most recent data.
Masako and Spam Musubi 